Just a Sad day,

[Morganna]

Blessed Be, Today i spent most of the day at a grave yard, i went to talk to a friend of mine, My friend Jeff, killed himself almost 20 years ago today, he was 17, i never got the chance to say good bye to him, to try and talk him out of it, i was too busy in Paris, on a world win vacation, before i got on my plane, he gave me a little white teddy bear, and a neckless he always wore,(i still have them), we talked about my trip, and what i would do in France, and about him, joining the Marine Corps with me, (he was scared of that), he also talked about what i would do ,without him,( he was my best friend), i told him, id be lost without him,the last time i saw him, was when they called for me to board the plane, i kissed him, told him, i loved and said ,see ya later dog face, lol, he told me he loved me, and said see ya later cat face, (the names we had for each other, lol), then when i was pass the point of turning back, he yelled, its not your fault, "im in love with you, "goodbye",and he started to cry, (never did i think he was saying good bye to me forever), i was having the time of mylife in Paris, i called him everynite, but i couldnt get him to pick up the phone, i asked my mom where "dog face" was, she said oh he is busy, she never told me he was dead, he killed himself 2 days after i left, when i got home instead of him, at the airport it was my mom, and Marine dad, with another Marine friend of mine, i found out that jeff was dead, in the middle of Newark airport, i dont remember much after they told me, he was dead, and that he left a note, for his mom, and me. do you know, it took me 10 years to open it, and all it said was, "i love you cat face", to this day noone knows why he did it, so each year i go, and i yell at him for leaving me, and not being here when i need him, but i wasnt there when he needed me, i leave stuff at the grave, the grounds keepers, must think im crazy, he loved hot dogs, and chips with orange soda, so i always bring him that, over the past few years i have lost 4 more great friends, 1 to Tower One on Sept 11th, and 3 in Iraq, i told jeff today, i bet the 5 of them are tell stories about me lol, my ears always ring lol, ......, i also asked him if, im ment to be alone, cant seem to find the right one, i yelled at him, because maybe he was the right one, and ill never know, and when i see him again, im going to punch him in the head, today was just a sad day, and i needed to vent, Blessed Be my wiccan friends, and my the Gods keep you safe

[Jana]

(((hugs)))
If you want hugs...
.... He is still with you; except now he is not in pain...
Namaste'
Jana